I always seem to have the worst luck with friends. Getting excluded is the worst feeling especially when you’re with friends.  Why is that I can never seem to connect with people? Is something wrong with me? I believe that I am a good person so why is it that I feel so unfulfilled in life? I’m trying to change things in my life but there is still that empty feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Forgiveness is hard to do when you can’t even forgive yourself. But sometimes people just make it so easy for you to hate them…

// Promises//

It’s sad when people make promises they can’t keep. You promised me that we were going to try to stay friends but somehow along the way you broke that promise. Texts became unreturned and I slowly started to give up as well. I can’t keep trying to fix something that doesn’t want to be fixed. I guess this is a good thing though because who knows, maybe it will help me forget about you.

The sadness still remains however and the pain is ever so present inside of me. If you didn’t want to work on this you should’ve just told me instead of stringing me along like a rag doll. Maybe you did want to work on it in the beginning but now it’s as if you don’t even care anymore. As each day passes, the need to check my phone to see if you texted is slowly dying. I am no longer awaiting the day you will text me or the day we will become friends. Something has died in me and that is perhaps, you.

There is still sadness but the yearning of what once was is no longer present.

// Letting Go//

letting go. it sounds easy but it’s actually one of the hardest things that i have tried to do. i want to let go of you, i really do, but you somehow keep crawling inside of me like a parasite to its host. you’ve made me hate the person that i’ve become and for this i truly despise you. how can i let go of you when you keep showing up just when i’m almost about there. you’ve had your glory and your fun so please just let me live in peace now. the thoughts in my head have now become monsters and demons that have turned me into a faint image of what i used to be. you’ve taken all of me and destroyed it leaving nothing but a cold and bitter heart.